Approaching imminent heart failure..

If anything is likely to instigate a heart attack other than furred up arteries, a really shit diet and a lack of exercise then I think I may have found out what it is…

This morning I discovered I had washed and tumble dried my rather expensive fitbit… by some miracle it still appears to work but is currently living inside a rice filled bag until I am sure my wrist won’t suddenly burst into flames due to a belated malfunction.

I then broke an egg (a rescue chicken’s egg, don’t shoot me Vegan brothers and sisters) into a pan where I managed to completely lose the yolk. Finally scooped it back and made an effort to reunite the two parts by patting them back together again.

Then, bit into a tomato which literally exploded all over me. By this point, I was contemplating that life was a bit of an arse really.

On top of this I realised that no childcare was forthcoming for next week. After 2 hours of phoning, messaging and trying to stop palpitations, it’s been sorted. Mr P will lose three days of pay to look after them. Yay.

And just now I have just had my first ever row with my friend Miss S, who has dementia, about whether or not she had power to her fridge. Her visiting friend who brought a ridiculous amount of food with her from London to stock Miss S’s fridge, has just been told she can take it all back. So out of pity, I am about to collect the friend and take her to the station. Despite needing to get stuff done.

And all I really wanted to do was prepare my house for a birthday bash we are having tomorrow and then go and look at dresses in town that I can’t fit in to (because despite being a Nearly Vegan, I haven’t lost any fecking weight because I am still an alcoholic). Instead I shall have to drag around a stroppy 9 year old who will moan at my clothes shopping while nagging for a new fidget spinner/Ronaldo doll or something equally as shite.

At least I am going out for me bezzie mate for dinner tonight AND I have a new hairdo.. (gone for surfer look, yes I know I don’t own a surf board and yes I do remember I am scared of actual waves that are higher than 30cm but it’s the vacuous nature of life that counts innit? 🙂 )





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